10 Days with Europe's Top 10 Pop Music Scenes. #10.

Every week, I listen to the new pop music arrivals on about 40 European music charts. I maintain a spreadsheet (9000 songs and counting) of my impressions. Every song is reviewed in "stoplight" fashion (green = great, yellow = so-so, red = not at all interested).

It occurred to me that I might be able to use this as a basis for ranking the countries by the quality of their top 40 charts.

That, of course, makes for a terribly subjective exercise complicated by many variables. There are some countries for which I have never been able to find a good pop chart, so they are out of the race. There are other countries whose pop charts are so consistently dull that I just don't check them at all, preferring instead to catch their hits when they rise up on the hot 100 European chart.

My records only show when a song made its first appearance somewhere. If a pop hit is to my liking, and winds up on 20 different charts, only the country whose chart I found it on first gets the credit. (In this sense, one could say that my ranking system rewards the most farsighted countries.)

So, at the end of the day, this is just a list of countries whose top 40 charts make one guy who has listened to 9000 songs over the last couple of years the happiest. We will look at one country each day (a good Euro-nationalistic exercise to correspond with Eurovision). We begin with:

Number 10: The Netherlands. 7.63% GREEN (7.63% of that country's charting songs earned top marks on my spreadsheet)

What impresses me about the Netherlands coming in at number 10 is that they do so despite having an enormous amount of levenslied (Dutch schlager) on their charts. Anyone for a Dutch-language version of "Daydream Believer"? Who thinks Patrick! has really earned the exclamation mark following his name? And WTF?

The levenslied stuff, you will note, is almost always in Dutch, whereas the country's pop and dance music output is usually delivered in English. Accordingly, levenslied is associated (fairly or not) with a less-cosmopolitan, working-class audience. (Dutch rap is usually in the Dutch language as well. Rap, which relies on verbal dexterity, always benefits from being delivered in the MC's native tongue.)

A music chart with one-third levenslied consistency is a lot for the rest of the music scene to overcome. But fortunately the Dutch also love dum-dum dance songs, and so do I. Consider that the country delighted in happy hardcore during the mid-1990s, then transitioned into dance pop like Alice DeeJay in Y2K. Today, the Netherlands are home to internationally acclaimed trance DJs like Armin van Buuren, Tiësto, and Ferry Corsten; the first two regularly top DJ Magazine's top 100 DJ polls each year, and Corsten (my personal preference) is never far behind.

The Netherlands also have a talented crop of MCs who sample from far funkier sources than their U.S. counterparts. One thing I remember about Amsterdam were the many vinyl record stores, which I imagine are filled with good hooks just waiting to be sampled.

Ah, old records. That reminds me of the Dutch pop music of the 70s, like Mouth & MacNeal's "How Do You Do?" Earth and Fire's "Weekend," and Patricia Paay's "Livin' Without You."

Hell, I even enjoy the occasional levenslied tune. ;-)

A few tracks from the last couple of years:

CJ - Rapfanaat
DIO feat Sef - Aye
Elize – Hot Stuff
Esmée Denters - Admit It
Ferry Corsten feat Maria Nayler - We Belong
Jeff van Vliet - Uit de weg
Rigby - Parade

Prison Break: Two Nights of Drinking and Talking

Between now and my departure I am going to alternate between two types of journal entries. One will deal with the psychological and organizational aspects of what I am attempting. The other will deal more specifically with the countries that I wish to visit and my plans concerning those countries. I wrote a bit about Estonia yesterday, so now it's time to turn back to the psychological issues and the planning.

I'm groggy and hung-over from two nights in a row of pleasurable conversation. At Apres Diem, Vaidas and I talked until 11:30 PM, he drinking whiskey and Coke and me downing five Stellas. The fifth Stella was a bad idea, though I woke up fairly alert the next day and was productive.

Vaidas was born in Lithuania, and as a kid he visited many of the countries that lay behind the Iron Curtain. Romania in the late 1980s, before their 1989 revolution, was a big shithole, he said, a country where people begged visitors for soap and cigarettes. It's little wonder that Ceausescu and his wife wound up being executed by firing squad during the revolution.

Vaidas talked about spending $3 a night for a "hotel" in...I think it was Belarus, but we kept flipping back and forth between countries and we were drunk so I cannot be sure anymore. I will say it was Belarus, because this story fits Belarus. In Belarus he stayed in a cabin, and each room had its own fireplace. A babooshka would come in and tend to the fire. He said he gave her a $3 dollar tip. After that she came into his room to throw logs into the fire all the time.

Belarus remains the most Soviet of all the former Soviet states (George W. Bush called it the "last remaining dictatorship in Europe" back in 2005). Without a good and trustworthy friend to travel with it would likely be too unsafe for me to explore this country on my own. I am hoping to find such a friend, because there aren't many places like Belarus left, so it would be interesting to see the country before change comes. Alexander Lukashenko, their President for 15 years now, is going to have to go someday.

Places like Belarus, Moldova, and Russia are among the places where bribing is most rampant, but Vaidas said $3 was enough to get a cop off his case, again I think in Belarus. (Incidentally, in reviewing this story everything in Vaidas's world appears to cost $3.) The art of the bribe is something I hope I do not have to learn, but in the sink or swim environment I am entering it may become a necessary skill.

After Vaidas and I finished with our conversation, we stumbled out into the night where we discovered a long line of teenaged girls and their mothers spilling out of the movie theater. Vaidas asked a mom and her two daughters what was up, and they replied that they were waiting to see the premiere of the new "Twilight" film.

Last night, Nathan, Seth, and I met up in Little Five Points. At the Brewhouse Seth expressed for the first time some reservations about the risks I was taking, affected in part by the things Vaidas had said the night before (Seth had been there for the first half of that conversation). Nathan also for the first time confessed that he initially thought the idea of running off to Eastern Europe was a bad one, but now admits that if I don't do this I will forever wonder sadly what might have been.

Nathan and I wound up at the Yacht Club after we dropped Seth off by his car, and we had an excellent conversation which was punctuated by the brief appearance of two cute Emo girls, one in a flannel shirt, who sat across from us, but then seemed to think that a poor idea and left to join other friends.

After getting home I watched "Survivor" over the Internet, downloaded some songs I'd been looking for via Shareaza in tandem with Pirate Bay (since Google doesn't offer these particular tracks, which were Esmee Denter's "Admit It" and Daan's utterly superb "Icon"). Then I passed out and regained consciousness around 11:30 this morning.

Because I signed up for Google Adsense, I suspect you will see several ads for alcohol treatment. I saw an ad today for help in finding your gay mate. If this sounds like something you want to click on, please do; it will help me out.

It's strange stepping into the commercial world after running the www.kingpigeon.com site non-commercially for about a decade, now, but I need to think about ways to generate revenue because I am not going to have much money when I arrive in Europe.

I told my sister in an email about my plans for the first time today because I need somebody with a physical address I can trust who can collect and deposit (the likely meager) checks I might receive from advertising revenue.