Planning Stage: Ukraine (Part 2: Kiev Nightlife)

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Well, my sister, who is sensible, is not on board with my doing this, so I regret I mentioned it to her. It's a shame some people cannot be told things; they force us to become liars.

Packing of belongings is moving along. I am patching holes in my apartment walls and boxing up my library. I hope to be more than halfway moved out this week and completely moved out by end of next (save my mattress, computer, DJ equipment, and some other essentials).

More Kiev

Ukraine's brutal presidential campaign will culminate on 17 January, provided swine flu paranoia doesn't delay the vote. I want to be there for that.

Hotels in Kiev are expensive. Renting an apartment will not get you a good value either (prices online suggest a nightly rate that is about the same as what you'd pay for the Holiday Inn Express here in the states, which is to say around $60 a night). As Bradt's travel guide notes, Kiev has yet to discover the budget hotel. One can take a gamble and rent an apartment for possibly much cheaper from any number of entrepreneurs, but Bradt's discourages this (too many ways to get scammed).

The only other options are hostels or a personal connection with a couch to sleep on. I would prefer the latter, as the hostels look like the usual 4 to 8 bunks per room, and it takes just one snorer to spoil everything. (If it should come to that, I will certainly be bringing my noise cancellation headphones and earplugs with me.)

Regarding Ukraine night life, it seems a large number of dance clubs also double as strip clubs and casinos. Some of these are described as "entertainment centers," and their website splash pages begin at that broader level, with a menu to narrow the scope for the different specific offerings.

Heaven looks like a potentially fun place (I love their advertising), though again I fear it may be too trendy for me. Clips on YouTube show the usual gyrating, scantily-clad professional club dancers on the bar counter. But in studying so many clubs in Eastern Europe lately I'm beginning to recognize that such may simply be the norm for club culture in that region, so sexy girl dancers perhaps does not equal pretentious in that part of the world. Indie bands play live at Heaven also, which is a positive sign.

Arena Night Club looks primarily to be a big-name place, for the likes of Antoine Clamaran, David Guetta, and Inna.

Disco Radio Hall, formerly Modabar, looks like an especially promising venue. The pop is clearly right up front (they put Katy Perry on one flier). I will definitely aim for this one.

Cocktail Bar 111 is situated in a posh hotel. Reviews are mixed, but it sounds as if it could be appealingly trashy.

Pa Ti Pa had Hungarian ex-porn star turned DJ Niki Belucci perform; she removed her clothing while DJ'ing as well. As it turns out, there are other Kiev venues where topless girls DJ. Which makes for some formidable competition.

Tiësto has played Decadence. Fave Ukrainian house group Gorchitza has also. Described as "ultra exclusive," one site says the door policy can be "harsh." It does look lavish, and therefore is probably not my kind of place.

Azhur is described as an "unpretentious" disco. Decor and music are based on the 60s-80s. That would be a fun and interesting DJ challenge. Crowd looks older, unsurprising considering the retro atmosphere. The venue looks quite beautiful and the door policy is relaxed.

Random Observations

Friend Darko from Croatia on the subject of whether or not I can play turbofolk in the Balkans: "Turbofolk? Do not go there!"

Renting an apartment in Tallinn, Estonia for a month is far more reasonable and affordable than renting an apartment in Kiev.

If a cop asks for your passport on the streets of Kiev, you give it to him to look at. If a cop asks for your passport on the streets of Bucharest, you don't. That's because in Romania real cops don't ask to see your passport; only cop impersonators do this.

Prison Break: Alcohol and Coffee

I am switching back and forth between the audio for a Slovenian-based music video channel called Play TV and Big FM, a Deva-based Romanian top 40 station. Play TV's repertoire is quite varied, a mixture of new, newish, and old tracks. It's the old that interest me the most; I study the top 40 charts from over 20 countries every week, but seeing a video for, say, Mysterious Art's 1989 classic "Das Omen" is an education (incidentally, I look forward to the day girls start dressing like the Mysterious Art singers again).

This weekend saw some major freaking out on my part. I thought I had at least until the end of the month of December to move out, but my landlord told me in an email that I opened around five in the morning that I'd have to leave on the 18th. I definitely didn't need that at that particular moment.

Turns out he had made a mistake, I do have until the 31st to move out, and so 24 hours later I am feeling better about things again. But regardless, the time is fast running out. December arrives Tuesday, a week of December will be spent at home for Christmas, and a couple weeks after that I will be on a plane to somewhere.

I find that when I drink too much and then mix coffee into the formula I am susceptible to bouts of extreme paranoia. Waking up groggy from alcohol while my heart is racing from the effects of caffeine means my brain operates drunk-weird at a high rate of speed, which is a terrible combination. The goal this December is to lay off the drink, because it's cutting deeply into my efficiency and making me afraid when I should be problem-solving.

Regarding problem-solving, today I thought about Herschel Walker, an American football player who was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder. I read his autobiography where he talked about living with this, and I walked away thinking how useful it could be to have multiple personalities to tackle different problems. This is probably not the lesson I was supposed to get from reading his book. Actually, that would make a pretty good TV series premise, but I suspect it would be too offensive to get the green light. :-D

A friend of mine has now been captivated by the "The Manual," a book published back in 1988 by members of the KLF which instructs the reader on how to have a number one hit. I had read this book many years ago (though I did not go on to have a number one hit), so it is interesting to see it surface again in another person's life. Wikipedia quotes from it: "Firstly, you must be skint and on the dole. Anybody with a proper job or tied up with full time education will not have the time to devote to see it through... Being on the dole gives you a clearer perspective on how much of society is run... having no money sharpens the wits. Forces you never to make the wrong decision. There is no safety net to catch you when you fall."

The soundtrack:

30 November 2009 - beginning 4:09 AM in Slovenia - Play TV

U2 - Magnificent
RIO - Shine On
Ayumi Hamasaki - Fairyland
Soho - Hippychick
Lady Gaga - Love Game
Shwayze - Buzzin
Akon - We Don't Care
Alesha Dixon - Breathe Slow
Kate Voegele - 99 Times
Akon - Right Now (Na Na Na)
The Pussycat Dolls - I Hate This Part
Stevie Jewel - One Last Kiss
David Guetta - Everytime We Touch
Sash! feat. Stunt - Raindrops (Encore Une Fois)
Hillary Duff - Wake Up
Freemasons feat. Bailey Tzuke - Uninvited
Public Domain - Operation Blade
Kidbass feat. Sincere - Goodgirls Love Rudeboys
Ian Van Dahl - Believe
50 Cent - OK, You're Right
Calvin Harris - I'm Not Alone
Velvet - Fix Me

30 November 2009 - beginning 5:09 AM in Romania - Big FM

Andru Donalds - Mishale
Cascada - Evacuate the Dancefloor
ATC - Around the World
DJ Bobo - What a Feeling
Jimmy Cliff - I Can See Clearly
Thomas Gold and Matthias Menck - Everybody Be Somebody
DJ Antoine - This Time
Jessica - How Will I know (Who You Are)
Marc Anthony - When I Dream at Night
Kate Ryan - Ella elle l'a
N Sync - It's Gonna Be Me
DJ Project vs. Deepside Deejays - Over and Over
September - Because I Love You (Dave Ramone Radio Edit)
Big Ali feat. Dollarman - Hit the Floor (Snap Remix Extended)
Jewel - Intuition
Yarabi - Again
Manian - Turn the Tide (RIO Radio Mix)
LLP vs. John Puzzle feat. Chriss - I Miss You (Radio Mix)
Cobra Starship feat. Florida - Good Girls Go Bad (Remix)
Inna - Amazing (Radio_Edit)
AnnaGrace - Let the Feeling Go
Dario Zack feat Starchild - Funky World (Radio Edit)

Planning Stage: Ukraine (Part 1)

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I have a difficult time appreciating today's Russian pop music (the once-mighty Tatu now seem a lifetime ago). It must come down to some sort of a cultural divide that, without considerable effort (perhaps involving the application of blowtorches), I cannot traverse. However, I am optimistic that I can overcome this prejudice. Consider: I used to look down on turbofolk and its various offshoots, but now I find that music to be quite pleasurable (like the hardcore techno I used to enjoy in the days of my youth, turbofolk puts a pot over your head and hammers away at it until you are senseless, which can sometimes be a good thing). So, with luck, one day I will connect with my inner Russian and learn to enjoy Russian pop music.

Ukraine, as their soon-to-be ousted President Viktor Yushchenko will tell you, is not Russia. Ukraine has had an ugly relationship with Russia pretty much forever. A Holodomor (the alleged mass-starvation of Ukrainians under orders of Joseph Stalin) marks the lowest point. If you read carefully you'll note my use of the word "alleged," and if you follow the preceding Wikipedia link you'll find the familiar "The neutrality of this article is disputed" at the top of the page. That's because Russia denies that Stalin deliberately targeted Ukrainians. To say that he did would be to accept that his was an act of genocide, and "genocide" is always a prickly word in foreign affairs. Whenever genocide is mentioned you always have to witness the same song and dance, the one where you have the victim country giving a high-end number of people killed while the accused aggressor country gives a low-end number of people killed; and the victim country always says that they were deliberately and specifically targeted, and the aggressor country always says, "Oh no, it was just a terrible tragedy that took the lives of people on our side as well," and this is all really quite tiresome to witness over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

After the Orange Revolution of 2004, which heralded a break from communist tradition and ushered in a government that was more EU-focused, Russia began a tradition of hammering Ukraine (like turbofolk hammers that pot on your head) over gas transit fees. Every month of the year, be it winter or summer, there is always some new story about problems with Ukraine paying for gas and Russia complaining about this, which in some instances has led to Russia cutting off the pipeline entirely, which then results in collateral damage in the EU (e.g., shivering Bulgarians). Some variation of this continuing drama will undoubtedly play out once again this winter, and I desperately hope to be in Ukraine when it happens.

Russian pop groups are welcome to crash the Ukrainian top 40. The majority of the Slavic-tongued songs on the Ukrainian pop charts are from Ukrainian artists (e.g., Dazzle Dreams, Druga Rika, Gaytana, Gorchitza, Quest Pistols, Tina Karol, and some of the 11 members and former members of the girl group VIA gra). But the likes of Dima Bilan (Дима Билан) and Fabrika (Фабрика) still graze in Ukraine's top 40 pastures. There is also an interesting issue about Ukrainian performers who sing in Russian instead of Ukrainian, which some feel is traitorous, especially since President Yuschenko has long pushed to make Ukrainian the sole official language of the country. However, when one considers the much larger Russian-speaking market it seems not particularly shocking that Russian would be an attractive language to sing in for some Ukrainian artists.

Eurovision has made minor stars out of two Ukrainians. The first was Ruslana, who won the whole competition back in 2004 just before the Orange Revolution took place (in fact, she became an avid supporter of the Orange Revolution and even sat briefly in the Ukrainian rada, or parliament). The second was Verka Serduchka, who, well, you just have to see this.

Actually, any country where Verka could become a superstar must have a lot to recommend it. They say that a society can be judged by how it treats its poor; I think the same could also be said for how it treats its LGBT community. But Wikipedia says that the guy playing Verka is, if gay, a closeted one, and so perhaps there are still some issues to be sorted out over there.

Ukraine may wind up being the place I visit first, since January will see their elections (so far this year no candidates have been poisoned), and it's also the time of year when the Russians are most likely to cut off the gas, which would just be interesting. My friend Andrew may also be there at the same time, which would make things especially fun.

My Ukraine research has been pretty light, but the places I know already I would like to visit are Kiev and Lviv, which are both fairly Western-friendly places. Sevastopol and parts east, near the Russian border, are generally more Russian, and, as an American, I am not sure how I would be greeted in such areas.

In the coming days I will write more about the clubs of Ukraine, my favorite music artists from that country, and the discos I am contacting in the hopes of DJ'ing over there.

In other news, here are my recent music recommendations on my other web site.

Prison Break: First Missed Deadline

Waiting by the phone
I don't like to be alone
I need a fix of hope
A hint of love in your voice

Shark & Sylvain feat. Lara Love - Call Me

Thanksgiving is on its way once again, and so Atlanta increasingly resembles what the protagonist saw after waking up "28 Days Later."

The Peachtree Street Vortex is closed for three days this week. The Vortex, which prides itself in its rock 'n' roll aesthetic, is the last place in Atlanta one would expect to find shuttered for three days of Thanksgiving. But a waitress at Charlie G's 11th Street Pub (Nathan's and my alternative hang-out choice last night) explained that the reason for the closure is renovations, so Vortex is hereby forgiven.

Although Charlie G's has a good selection of quality beers, I deliberately opted for weak, cheap American beer. Yuengling seems to generate a lot of positive reviews, but to me it tastes little different than Michelob Ultra. The stuff is like water, but that can actually be good if you are trying to pace yourself. Unfortunately, they ran out of cold bottles of Yuengling because I drank them all, so in the end I switched to the higher alcohol Stella. But my Yuengling plan still seemed to work. Despite ostensibly imbibing too much, the bar tab was small and my head feels perfectly fine today.

But I'm tired. I nodded off before midnight last night only to awake at 3:30 this morning in a state of panic over the Eurotrip plans. I spent an hour struggling to get back to sleep, but anxiety wouldn't allow me to. So I gave up on sleep entirely. From 4:30 until 5:15 I sat on the floor of my bedroom sorting through my Very Important Papers in an effort to find my original lease so that I could be clear on the terms of breaking it. I could not find the original lease on account of my being a disorganized idiot, so at 6 AM I wrote my landlord for a new copy.

Going through my old papers reminded me of how long I have actually been in Atlanta. Despite the feelings of life paralysis I've felt so acutely, by many measures my world has changed dramatically. One would hope that would be the case after 14 years. Still, I look around me and see that other people's lives changed much more than mine, and more positively as well, and that's the whole problem.

D-Day is effectively here; I ought to be mailing my rent check today in order to ensure that it gets to the landlord on 1 December, and it ought to include two months of rent, the extra month's being my punishment for breaking my lease. In other words, today should have seen my first major commitment to the Big Plan. But I balked on account of not having the lease to review and will likely send the rent check on Friday instead.

In addition to paying an extra month's rent, I will forfeit my deposit. This is how life puts manacles on you. But that only makes me more determined to break out of here.

From 6 to 7 I shredded old financial documents at the office. If nothing else, making plans to head to Europe has gotten me to do some necessary housecleaning.

The lyrics that open this blog entry are insipid, as most lyrics are when transcribed, but they work well within the context of this particular song. The inspiration for quoting them comes from the fact that I continue to look for a sign from somebody that I would be welcome to participate in the party overseas. So far my emails to various clubs have failed to garner any replies, though admittedly I haven't been sending out nearly as many as I should. Every message I do send seems to disappear into a black void, and considering how big my plans are, the lack of encouragement is...well...the word would be "discouraging," wouldn't it?

A review of my finances suggests that I will arrive in Europe with about $5000 to my name. I will have to roll my savings account (which has a pesky minimum balance) and my CD (which has turned out to be the most useless investment I made in the last calendar year) into my checking account so that I can actually access that money.

Planning Stage: Slovenia (Pt. 2 : Maribor, Celje, Piran, Portoroz)

I am in a good mood. I finally tracked down high-quality recordings of two great Estonian pop tunes not available to me for months: Urban Symphony's "Päikese poole" and Birgit Õigemeel's "Moonduja." My McAffee anti-virus software stopped one Trojan from infecting my system during this important rescue operation. These are the exciting risks I take tracking down European pop songs. I am the Chuck Norris of Estonian pop music downloading.

Birgit's "Moonduja" is an especially interesting song; a strange time-signature, icy synth stabs, and ethereal vocals weaving around chunky R&B beats. It's kinda spooky. This is the perfect song to have float out of your radio at three in the morning. Birgit came to fame by winning the first Estonian Idol competition in 2007, and this performance of REM's "Everybody Hurts" shows how she did that.

Two days ago I began writing about Slovenia, their clubs, and which clubs would make a good match for my blend of Eurotrash, turbofolk, and the odd song by Journey. I wrote last time that most clubs in Ljubljana seem to fall into one of two categories: the elitist venue and the alternative venue (the photo above is one I took just before New Year's in the waning days of 2005 at the none-more-arty Metelkova complex). Sadly, my DJ style puts me somewhere in the middle.

I found considerably more to be cheerful about looking at the nightlife in some other Slovenian towns. Of these places, Maribor, Slovenia's second...er..."largest" city seems the most promising.

Maribor has music coursing through its veins. It hosts some big music festivals each year. Their Lent Festival is the biggest music festival in Slovenia.

Clubs that appealed to me included:

KMŠ - A student disco that also hosts some big (in Slovenia) acts, including the excellent DJ Sylvain and Leeloojamais. I also see that KMŠ has a Ljubljana branch which may be worth investigating also.

ŠTUK - Another student disco, this one described by an "In Your Pocket" writer as "a place you come to for dirt cheap drinks and all night parties, not subtle ambiance and sophisticated discourse." In other words, I think there is trash to protect and serve in this establishment.

I had spent some time in Celje back in 2006, but the trash club scene does not appear to be much to speak of. YouTube videos suggest that there are some interesting places of the more turbofolkish variety there. These would be a pleasure to drop in on, but I don't think my DJ'ing would be particularly welcome.

Finally, I looked at some of the clubs in Piran and Portoroz. These places seem to boom during the warm weather months, but they strike me as having a cooler-than-me vibe to them. I tend to avoid places that advertise their "elite atmosphere." But advertising and reality usually diverge, and perhaps some of these places would be way more accommodating than I imagine.

So, I emailed KMŠ (also joined their Facebook group) and ŠTUK. This has made for a good day's work, though I suspect I am going to put in another day's work today as well. :-D

Prison Break: Drinking and Talking Part 897

It's Thanksgiving week, and I am thankful for the fact that there are very few people in my office today to see what I look like the morning after a night spent with my enablers at the Park Tavern. The Park has a "if it rains, all draft beers are $1 each" rule. It rained yesterday, and so in this manner the weather has had an adverse affect on my health.

Carson and I met up at the Carroll Street Cafe at 3 PM yesterday where we studied satellite maps of Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania in an effort to determine an ideal base of operations for me. In each of those countries one has easy access to Scandinavia, where conceivably there would be more money to be made as a DJ. The ferry from Tallinn to Helsinki costs around 30 euros. The trip from Estonia to Scandinavia can be full of surprises.

Of all the emails I sent to Estonian clubs last week there have been zero replies. This puts a serious crimp in my confidence. I feel this is the week I have to buy the plane ticket, so where will I go? Should I just go to Estonia and see if I can make something happen?

The better idea is probably to go to Romania. I have many friends there. I'm comfortable there. I spent several months this year studying the language, and while I am by no means proficient I should be able to do OK once immersed in it. The country is centrally located in Eastern Europe. And there's one cute girl I want to date there as well.

Seems like a no-brainer, but the problem with Romania is that I've been there so many times already that I'm not especially motivated in the same way I would be if I were visiting a "new" country. I'm not especially fond of the club and music scene there lately, either. Romanian pop has changed significantly since I started listening to it in 2000 (I wrote a little editorial about this a while back for BalkanInsight). While it would be sensible to go to Romania, I feel a green light from Estonia would give me more of an adrenaline rush, since their pop scene is so much more exciting to me right now and there would be the shock of the new to motivate me.

But considering the stress I am putting myself under, beginning my adventure in relatively cozy Romania might be the smartest way to go.

Carson told me that, as a DJ, my biggest downfall was my sincerity. What's the opposite of a backhanded compliment? A fronthanded criticism? Anyway, he has a point. I'm quite averse to spinning in many different club environments, as yesterday's Slovenia blog entry demonstrates, and it would be more beneficial to me if I were willing to play the trendier genres. I shut too many doors before I am willing to give things a try, and that inflexibility is not the best way to survive as a DJ in Eastern Europe. "You've got to become Mr. Lava," he said, referring to my fictional alter-ego.

Planning Stage: Slovenia (Pt. 1 - Ljubljana)

Last night's merriment was had at the Book House Pub (the photo is from that, and I am the handsome blonde guy in the middle of it). I imbibed less last night, got to bed relatively early, and so awoke without the usual bloodshot eyes and headache of recent days. I turned down the temptation to hit MJQ Concourse after the pub because I'd punished myself enough Thursday and Friday night and I needed to sharpen myself in order to get stuff done today.

A couple days ago I wrote about Estonia. I thought it would be fun to a play a sort of six degrees of separation game today, so here goes. Caater, a Eurodance group from Estonia, frequently partners with the Finnish Eurotrasher K-System. Finland recently stepped messily into Slovenia's elections when a Finnish TV station accused the Slovenian Prime Minister of accepting bribes. And so we find ourselves in Slovenia today. How was that?

Balkan Slovenia has a lot in common with Baltic Estonia. Both are tiny countries with small populations (2 million people live in Slovenia). Both are relatively well-managed and are doing very well financially for formerly communist states, in part due to their luck in geographic placement (Estonia is tied to the ultra-wealthy Scandinavian region, and Slovenia shares a border with Italy and Austria). Slovenia is currently the only former communist state on the euro currency; Estonia will likely adopt the euro in 2011. Both countries have their share of regional and cultural tensions, but overall these are not so bad.

A big difference between the two lies in their music scenes. Much of Estonia views itself culturally as Scandinavian, and Scandinavia loves its pop and dance (think ABBA). Neighbor Russia has a love for the tawdry and trashy, and these worlds intersect in Estonia to create some really stellar pop music that manages to move the feet while also giving a little bit more to the brain.

Slovenia, on the other hand, tends to be mellower. Their music gravitates towards the live. They love their jazz. Their RTV Big Band spits out tons of high-quality recordings. Maribor hosts a jazz festival as well as a more general music festival. Tolmin hosts a metal festival each year.

Turbo folk does not seem to be popular in Slovenia, but turbo polka is. Turbo polka sounds exactly as you would imagine.

I have been to Slovenia once before, so I know a little bit about the feel of the country and its nightlife. The trip was fabulous, despite my being chased back to my hotel by two thugs one night in Ljubljana (probably glue-sniffers, the hotel porter reckoned).

My goal is to DJ through Eastern and Central Europe, and since I've already laid eyes on three towns in Slovenia you would think I'd be able to come up with some good ideas for places to spin. You would be wrong.

The "problem" with Slovenia seems to lie in its tastefulness. After spending a chunk of my afternoon today reading up on Ljubljana clubs both new and old to me, I realized that there seem to be two extremes of club taste in that city. One is the exclusive, luxurious club that is staffed by bouncers who will deny you entry if you are wearing the wrong clothes--or might beat you to death if you invoke their ire. Point is, a stuffy or exclusive club is one where the focus is more on the preening, networking, and hooking up, and less on the music.

The other extreme is the ultra-alternative venue. I speak here primarily of Metelkova Mesto, which I partied at on two different nights in Ljubljana. Here you find your hippies, crusties, squatters and travelers, as well as your gay/lesbian/trans-gender community.

Metelkova totally rocks. But this presents its own strange problem for a Eurotrash DJ like myself. My music is not tasteful enough for that community. It's hard to follow a drum & bass/dancehall set with Cascada's "Fever."

Interestingly, in Ljubljana my best bet would probably be at Metelkova's gay clubs, because only there does a blend of pop, trash, and house find balance. I know this because some friends and I stumbled into a Metelkova gay club on New Year's Eve, and we demanded to be let by skeptical door staff despite not being gay enough because the music was so freaking awesome.

So, maybe gay clubs in Ljubljana are better.

What is missing in Ljubljana that would make DJ King Pigeon's mouth water? It seems there is a lack of student discos catering to the younger, poorer, yet well-educated pop fans out there. This population exists in abundance in Warsaw, Poland, and fuels some awesome nights at places like The Parc. But I haven't seen signs that such a venue exists in Ljubljana.

I might need to turn to Maribor or Celje to find a better fit. I will do that tomorrow, and post part two of my review of Slovenia then.